Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates

January 14th, 2010 admin Posted in Computer jokes, English jokes, Normal jokes, Santa jokes 20 Comments »

Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice:

1. There is a button ‘start’ but there is no ‘stop’ button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any “re-scooter” is available in system? I find only “re-cycle”, but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ‘find’ button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft sentence’, so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows ‘My Computer’: when you will provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says ‘MY Pictures’ but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is ‘MICROSOFT OFFICE’ what about ‘MICROSOFT HOME’ since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided ‘My Recent Documents’. When you will provide ‘My Past Documents’?

9. You provide ‘My Network Places’. For God sake please do not provide ‘My Secret Places’. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Banta

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

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Chatur Speech from 3 idiots

January 5th, 2010 admin Posted in Funny SMS, Normal jokes, Normal SMS 83 Comments »

Adarniya sabhapati mahodaya …
atithi vishesh shikshan mantri shri R D tripati [tripathi] ji ..
maanyaniya shikshagan aur mere piyaaare [pyare] sahpatiyo [sahapathiyon] …
aaj agar I.C.E aasmaan ki bulaaandiyo [bulandiyon] ko chhu raahaa [raha] hai ..
to uska shreya sirrf [sirf] ekinsaan [ek insaan] ko jaataahai [jata hai] shri veerusahastra buddhe ..
give him a big hand ..
he is a great guy really ..
Peechle buttis saal se inhone nirantar is college mein balatkar [balaatkaar] pe balatkar kiye ..
umeed hai aagey bee [bhi] karte rahege [rahenge] ..
hamine to aashcharya hota hai ki ek insaan apne jeevan kaal mein itni balatkar kaisi kar sakta hai …
inhone kadi tapaasya se apne aapko is kaabil bunaya [banaya] hai ..
waqt ka sahi upyog ghante ka purna istemaal koi inse seeke [seekhe]..
seeke inse seeke ….
aaj hum sab chaatra yaha hai ..
kal desh videsh mein fail [faael] jayenge ..
waadaa hai aapse jis desh mein honge waha balatkar karenge I.C.E ka naam roshan karenge …
dika [dikha] denge sabko jo balatkar Karne ki shamtaa yaha ke chaatro mein hai wo sansaar ke kisi chaatro mein nahiii ….
No other chaatra No other chaatra Adarniya mantraji namashkar aapne is sansthaan ko wo chees di jiski hamein sakht zaroorat thi …sstunn ..stunn hota sabi [sab hi] ke paas hai ..sab chupa ke rakte hai ..detaa koi nai …aapne apna stun is balatkari purush ke haat mein diya hai…ab dekiye yeh kaisa iska upyog karta hai

Sanskrit shalok:- Utthamum dadhdadaath paadam…Madhyam paadam thuchuk chuk …Ghanisthah thud thudi paadam…Surr surri praan gatakam..

Submitted by: Dhruv Tuteja -05-01-2010

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The son of a….

October 1st, 2009 admin Posted in English jokes, Funny SMS, Normal jokes, Normal SMS 163 Comments »

A little boy was doing his maths homework. He said to himself,” Two plus five, the son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, the son of a bitch is nine..”

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?”

The little boy answered, “I’m doing my maths homework, Mom.”

“And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked.

“Yes,” he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, “What are you teaching my son in maths?”

The teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.”

The mother asked, “And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the Son Of a bitch is four?”

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, “What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.”

Please speak audibly that the kids can hear your exact words guys.

Submitted by Getmefun (Sep 30 2009)

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New one liners

August 12th, 2009 admin Posted in Funny SMS, Normal jokes, Normal SMS 593 Comments »

साँप ने पिया बकरी का खून …
वाह ! वाह !
..
साँप ने पिया बकरी का खून …
गुड Afternoon! Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon!!

तेरे प्यार में पागल हो गया पीटर .. .
वाह! वाह!
..
तेरे प्यार में पागल हो गया पीटर …
अब हीरो होंडा Splendor, 80 km प्रति लीटर .. !!

Bahaar आने से पहले फिजा आ गयी .. .
.वाह! वाह!
..
Bahaar आने से पहले फिजा आ गयी …
फूल को खिलने से पहले बकरी खा गयी .. !!

आत्मा छोड़ गयी शरीर पुराना
वाह! वाह!
..
आत्मा छोड़ गयी शरीर पुराना …
दीदे तेरा देवर दीवाना .. !

Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala …
वाह! वाह!
..
Yashomati Maiyya से Bole Nandlala …
“माँ, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!”

होटों Pe “हाँ” है …
दिल में “ना” हैं ….
. वाह! वाह!
..
होटों पे “हाँ” है …
दिल में “ना” हैं …
Shashi Kapoor Kehta Hai: “Mere Paas Maa hai”

Submitted by Sahil (Aug 12 2009)

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Amritsir ka Pagal

May 20th, 2009 admin Posted in Free Jokes, Normal jokes 154 Comments »

Please install Hindi font to view this Joke..

अमृतसर के पागलखाने में नया मरीज भर्ती किया गया। उसका चेकअप करते हुऐ एक डाक्टर ने कहा कि आप मानसिक रूप से तौ ठीक ठाक लग रहे हैं….. फिर यहां कैसे आ गये।
मरीज बोला डाक्टर मैं ठीक हूं पर बात यह है कि कुछ समय पहले मैंने एक विधवा से शादी की…… उसके एक जवान बेटी थी….. मेरे पिता जी ने उससे शादी कर ली और फिर मेरी पत्नी मेरे पिता जी की सास बन गई। कुछ समय बाद मेरे पिता जी के घर बेटी पैदा हुई और वह मेरी सौतेली बहन बन गई। इसके अलावा वह मेरी नवासी भी थी। क्योंकि मैं उसकी नानी का पति था। अब मेरे घर बेटा हुआ। एक तरफ मेरी सौतेली मां मेरे बेटे की बहन लगती थी क्योंकि वह उसकी मां का बेटा था। दूसरी तरफ वह उसकी दादी लगती थी क्योंकि वह मेरी मां भी थी। इस तरह मेरा बेटा मेरी मां का भाई बन गया। डाक्टर साहब आप सोचो मेरे पिताजी मेरे दामाद और मैं उनका ससुर…. इतना ही नहीं मेरी सौतेली मां मेरे बेटे की बहन यानि मेरा बेटा मेरा मामा और मैं अपने बेटे का भांजा…… तभी अचानक डाक्टर जोर-जोर से रोने लगा और उसने मरीज से पूछा कि मेरे बाप मैं कौन हूं.

Submitted by: Dipti Jain (May 20 2009)

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